Just In Case I Thought I Knew What Was Going On... Surprise!

I really don't know why I think I can predict or depend on anything going as planned.

As you may or may not already know, my love is now scheduled for another surgery on next Monday, May 7th. The goal of the surgery is to remove more of the brain tumor. The idea of going through surgery again is frightening for all of us, but the idea of less, or hopefully, no tumor keeps us positive and hopeful. This surgery will be different from the last as my love will be awake for part of it, which is causing my love to be quite nervous and have bad dreams about it, which is no fun.

As of right now, radiation and chemo are still supposed to start on the 14th, which seems really fast to me, especially since last time my love had surgery the oncologist said they like to wait 3 to 4 weeks after surgery to start that stuff. Now the oncologist wants to stay on the same treatment plan, so I really don't understand. We have a meeting with him again on Thursday, so hopefully things will be explained more clearly then. I often wish I knew more about this stuff so I could know for sure that people are making decisions that are in the best interest of my love. I know my love feels like it's all happening really fast, I mean, we all do, but my love is the one going through the procedures and stuff, so it feels really fast for my love. I wish there was more I could do to make the process easier, but my love assures me that my presence is at least very appreciated.

Many times in my life, I've wished that someone could tell me clearly what things would be like and what would happen when. Some days, I feel like that more than ever right now, especially when things like surgery get thrown in the mix seemingly out of nowhere. At the same time, maybe it's best not to know, it gives me less time to worry then I guess.

So yeah, surgery is scheduled for Monday afternoon, sorry I didn't get this posted sooner, but we had to make sure that various family members heard about it from family first rather than from running across it on the internet.